🚗 i've got a bone to pick with...

Good morning dear readers.

Today we have something short, sweet, and fueled by rage.

I have a bone to pick with whomever was in charge of the car casting for the movie The Housemaid.

WHY do I care, you ask?

Well, whomever was responsible (and yes, I looked through the entire credit list to try and find the perpetrator and not a soul had the gall to be listed as ‘automotive consultant’ or even ‘product placement specialist’) completely ruined my immersion in the film…

My suspended disbelief was destroyed by one decision the crew of this movie made.

Let me explain what I mean:

(if you want to watch this movie and care about spoilers you should stop reading)

The man pictured above is the main dude in the film. He is tall, fit, rich, & handsome. He has decent taste in watches, and is incredibly wealthy (he inherited a tech company from his father).

He also (spoilers) is secretly AN ABSOLUTE PSYCHOPATH with mommy issues. Effectively the villain of the film/book.

Now, with all of that information at your disposal, what kind of car do you think he would drive? Here was my thought process:

• A Maserati is a little too on the ‘I’m a villain’ nose, and isn’t very tech-guy.

• A Rivian is very tech-guy but doesn’t feel villain, plus this dude inherited the tech company so he’s probably not the type to fully fit the wealthy tech-guy archetype.

Now, notably he’s a secret villain & takes pleasure in everyone thinking he’s the LeBron James of husbands. So, we need a car that says: “I have bags of money and live in a crazy house”, “I want people to think I’m a tech-entrepreneur”, “I am good looking and a Hall of Fame dad/husband”, and “my guilty pleasures are long walks on the beach and locking women in my attic”.

What I landed on was this 2012, first generation Porsche Panamera 4S:

Why? Well, the first generation Panamera is a pretty impressive vehicle. It has the Porsche pedigree, it makes great power, its luxurious, and has room for a small family. BUT, to me its proportions have always looked a bit wrong. 

In fact, the story goes that the Panamera is slightly bulbous because Porsche’s then-CEO, Wendelin Wiedeking, is both a tall fella and insisted that the Panamera be able to fit tall fellas.

So, the reason the Panamera fits here is that it hits on everything I would expect Andrew Winchester (above pictured villain) to want to project, while also indicating to the watcher in a subtle way that something is a bit off about this guy.

Not only did he not use his buckets of cash to acquire the newer, better-looking Panamera Sport Turismo (like this one that sold on Cars&Bids recently), but his car has suspicious room around the roof (much like his home, which has a suspicious room just beneath its roof where he locks his victims).

Now, to finally get to the point you may have sussed out from my ramblings thus far:

The car they chose for Andrew Winchester, hyper-rich secret villain handsome tech guy?

A 2024 JEEP WAGONEER S

Just an unbelievably unbelievable car for this guy to drive.

I’d like to imagine this was product placement or something, but I didn’t see anyone in the credits list whose job was product placement. And even if it was, isn’t the point of product placement for specific products to be placed in a realistic, if not marginally aspirational setting for marketing?

If we are agreed on that, whomever chose this car fundamentally misunderstood the assignment, or at a minimum is not respecting the art of car casting.

And I do think its an art. It’s part of the storytelling. In our everyday lives our cars say much about us; to an extent they indicate our values & even what we want others to think of us. To some, they are an indicator of worth.

In media, the car a character drives should communicate similar things. What type of person would drive this car? What do they care about? In large part I think cars should affirm or put a punctuation mark on what we already know about a character. 

The best shows of all time all knew this; they all have impeccable car casting (presumably because their attention to detail and immersion are part of why the show was so successful).

“PROOF?!” you ask??? Happy to oblige.

The Office

In The Office, Michael Scott drives (among other things) a Chrysler Sebring CONVERTIBLE and a PT Cruiser convertible. He somehow misunderstands what makes something ‘cool’ every time. He buys the smallest plasma screen TV because he thinks the fact that its ‘plasma’ is the only part needed for it to be impressive. He gets the convertible version of two exceedingly uncool cars, because to him its just the ‘convertible’ bit that matters.

The Office has a ton of examples like this. A couple others:

• Dwight drives a Pontiac Firebird. At the surface this is kind of strange for a beet farming paper salesman. To me Dwight’s Firebird ties into the fact that you really never know what to expect from him. Throughout the show his bizarre eccentricities are revealed, along with an affinity for what I can only describe as 80s-90s mall culture (crossbows, karate, graphic t-shirts, etc). I can picture Dwight signing out of work at Dunder Mifflin and rolling into the mall to test out the new katana he saw in the weird weaponry and knickknacks store (that every mall had for some reason).

• Ryan (after getting his promotion) rolls into the Scranton office in a BMW Z4. There’s nothing deep about this one, it just fits that a character like Ryan would go for a silver, convertible Z4 to me.

Breaking Bad

Walt’s Pontiac Aztec is his rebellion on a budget. It’s probably as crazy as he was allowed to be.

It’s hilarious to me that someone like Walt would be sold on the Aztec when its marketing imagery looked like this:

but… it’s also impressively fitting. Walt is depicted as an ego-driven underachiever; a promising scientist turned disappointed school teacher (teachers rule, but in the show does not enjoy his gig). His home life is unsatisfying and complex, he doesn’t make good money nor feel like ‘the man’. But, he dreams of more… of freedom, rebellion, and power.

And, at least before the inciting incident of the show, driving the Aztec was maybe the biggest way Walt could rebel. Instead of the mini-van, he went for the Jetski-towing ‘adventure’ car that was affordable & didn’t sacrifice the space his family needed.

Game of Thrones

And last, in the most impressive case of car (okay, maybe vehicle) casting…

I present to you: Daenerys Stormborn, Mother of Dragons. Her vehicle of choice? A dragon. Extremely fitting if you ask me; the character whose family historically tamed and rode dragons into battle got dragons to ride of her own. Not sure who did the car casting for Game of Thrones, but bravo. Nailed it.

Jokes aside, sometimes car casting just feels right. When done well, it adds to the immersion, symbolism, and storytelling of a piece of media. For car nuts like me, minimizing or selling off its rights can ruin a film.

So, dearest Hollywood, Bollywood, and whatever other movie making lumbers are out there… consider this my resume. If you need a car casting consultant for your upcoming work, hit me up.

P.S. if you made it this far, you have earned the prestigious right to be the first to hear that I added a fun car-related game to MaxFindsCars. Check it out here to play for free.

And remember…

MaxFindsCars.com is not, technically, free! By subscribing, dear reader, you have agreed to tell your friends about it.

In fact, I believe the contract specifically stated you had to each subscribe 100 of your closest friends, colleagues, enemies, exes, priests, pets, & sugar mommas. I’ll have to check the fine print to be sure, but you all may as well get started spreading the word in the meantime.

That's a wrap for today. And if you want more MaxFindsCars, be sure to follow Max’s Twitter (@maxjzin)

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